Life is like a grapefruit

I love a sausage

One thing about moving countries that is often overlooked is the problem of finding new versions of home comforts. Whether it’s the channel that shows the rugby (or where to find it online) or where to find the best pizza, these are the things that make your new life in your new country easier and better.

After many years of moving around, I’ve realised that my most important home comfort is vegetarian sausages. Now, this may be because I was spoiled for choice in London. From a supermarket I could get these Lincolnshire sausages made from tofu from a company named Cauldron Foods. They were wonderfully seasoned with all the right herbs, and the consistency was not too meaty, and not to obviously veggie. I should note here that I’m incredibly picky with my sausages; if they’re too reminiscent of a meat sausage in terms of texture, I’m not interested.

If I wanted to get something a little more special, while living in London, i had only to pop over to Greenwich, home of the National Maritime Museum, the Meridian Line, Henry VIII’s tournament grounds, the Cutty Sark, and the finest sausage stall known to man. The market that housed the miraculous sausage stall also was the place to go for fresh tea, home-made caribbean hot sauce and jerk seasoning, and the finest selection of cheese known to man. The sausage stall stocked sublime meat sausages but I would obviously skip those and head straight for the mushroom and tarragon, or spinach and feta, or one of the other delectable delights on offer. They were loosely bound, i.e., they had no skin, but had chunks of ingredients and were freshly made. They were never oily, but unlike many vegetarian sausages, they were never too dry either. As the ones with cheese cooked, the cheese would melt inside to form little pools of hot deliciousness…

Excuse me, I need to take a break to wipe the drool from my chin.

Ok, so what happened when I moved to Canada? Well, I had hoped that being on the West Coast, the liberal side, as it were, that I would find all manner of exciting new vegetarian sausage options. Sadly, I was very mistaken: The only options I could find were frankfurter type affairs.

We shall skip over that sad, sad episode and move on to the Singapore portion of the search for vegetarian sausages. Here I had high hopes once more, as Singapore seemed to be far more conscious of the vegetarian lifestyle (no, not yoga, incense and tie-dye, just not eating meat) than the great white north had been. I was once again disappointed for the first few months, until I found something marketed as breakfast links. They weren’t up to those ambrosia-filled heavenly packages from Greenwich market, but they tasted great in sandwiches. The only down-side was their size. I prefer my sausages to be, well, substantial; to have one or two fill a sandwich at most. It took five or six of these things to fill a sandwich and I often ended up just cooking the whole packet, which made me feel like a terrible glutton. Still, one has to do what one must when desperate times are abound.

Finally, we come to the last stage of this great tale of longing and desperation: The return to North America, this time to the sandwich filling of the great Western continent, and specifically to the liberal, healthy-living, pilates-loving California. Here, surely, there must be vegetarian sausages to rival those of Greenwich! Here, surely, there must be riots when vegetarian sausage quality drops or supplies run low! Here, surely, I will find a sausage worthy of fulfilling my Sunday morning craving!

After nearly four months, I was once again ready to give up. Then, just the other day, I spotted some succulent little buggers all wrapped up with “Spinach and Feta” proudly proclaimed on their packaging. Could it be? Could I have found them? Well, no. They turned out to be chicken, written on the packet in criminally small type. My wife, the carnivore, thought they looked delicious, much to my chagrin.

But what’s this? What are these just next to the deceptive bastard chicken sausages? Italian flavour vegetarian sausages… Apple, sage and onion flavour vegetarian sausages! Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! 

I think I yelled “SUCCESS!” as I brandished the fruits of my long, globe-spanning search to all who came near.

For those still with me, the brand is Field Roast and while taste trials are continuing, we appear to have a winner.

Posted on 2009/02/24 in personal | Tagged food | Leave a comment

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Name *

Email *


Recent Posts




Copyright © Dominic Hamon 2021. WordPress theme by Ryan Hellyer.